Well there is no longer any doubt I am flaring. The spasms of pain here and there and the oozing on my hands were the lead up to the flare. I whined a lot about it yesterday to my husband and a little bit more today. But the bottom line is I am not in a full flare like I had in the past. I am oozing here and there. Maybe it will get worse. Maybe not. I changed back to my original MSM yesterday and I will give it a few days to kick in. I refuse to "give in" emotionally to this beast. I will not let it take over.
My legs are on fire as are my hands, chest, low back, and parts of my arms. Weird thing I noticed is the flaring areas on my arms and legs are the inside parts of my limbs. For the first 6-7 months of TSW I had a horrible area on the outside of my left arm. Not this time....outside parts of my legs and arms are perfectly clear. My ankles and wrists are probably the worst areas right now. The good news is the thickening skin I had throughout the entire 6-7 months on my hands and wrists did not return. The skin is not swollen nor raised. It's just flat but broken open in many areas. Not sure how the heck I'm going to work the next 2 days. I bought a tea tree oil spray yesterday and used it at work. It cooled the skin but not sure if it helped or not.
The other good news is while I may be oozing, it is not pouring out nor do I have to wipe it away. It is a scant amount, but enough where lint collects. I have other freshly scratched areas that are not oozing and no lint collects there....so I can truly tell how much I'm oozing even if there is only scant amounts coming out. It's not even enough to form the yellow crust layer. And the smell is barely detectable...I only catch a whiff here and there which is good and I hope it stays this way because the ooze smell always made me nauseated.
I wanted to throw the towel in between yesterday and today. I almost threw out all my supplements and wanted so bad to go out and buy a bunch of junk food! But I didn't as I still believe what I am doing is truly benefiting me and making my TSW significantly more tolerable. I think between going back to work and other life stressors, I am just in a state of physical and emotional weakness. I am trying to take a few steps back and re-evaluate everything, but I might just wait to do that after the holidays.
I have my ND appointment on Friday and plan to ask about adding in homeopathy. I also have to get on the ball after Christmas to eat 100% natural....no more cheating. But it takes a lot of work and I can't do it alone. I wish I had the ability to take a few weeks off so I could just have a re-boot with my life. But that doesn't seem to be a possibility anytime soon....plus I would probably just sleep more and not get myself back on track with anything so might as well work. And yes, I am quite a bit down right now. But I am doing my utmost to not let it get to me. I did make a few cookies....and I mean just a few. I am trying and not succeeding at accomplishing anything. But the fact that I am still trying is what I focus on.
So for those that are in the perils of TSW and feeling terribly down at this moment....I feel you! But do your hardest to try something....anything. And then give yourself a pat on the back for just simply trying.
Besides the obvious negative of flaring....the other bad thing happening is a complete and utter zapping of energy. I don't know how I worked this week or last. The past few weeks I have noted a huge decline in my energy levels. I would get a few tired periods here and there....now I barely get a few periods of energy anymore. I am attributing this to not only the flare, but to stopping the raw adrenal I was tapering off. I stopped it completely quite a few weeks ago and I didn't notice a change immediately like I did when I initially stopped it. But I think it will take some time for the adrenals to get back to normal. I am doing my utmost to get to where I don;t take any supplements and get all my nutrients from natural foods. It will obviously take some time, but that is my plan. I am hoping my ND has some good ideas or homeopathy remedies to help facilitate this. I don't know how much longer I can last with this state of exhaustion.
Wish I had pictures to share, but frankly just too tired to deal with it. I will however share a picture of my children having a blast playing in all the snow we have!! They get out nearly everyday....although I think they are going to need new boots and winter gear because they are just wearing their stuff out!