Holy Fat! And Things I CANNOT Wait For!!

I have to laugh at myself - a mirror does not do justice to the amount of fat I have accumulated over the past year or so - getting worse with topical steroid addiction and then going through withdrawal - have barely exercised.  So when I asked my daughter to take a picture of my back and looked at it, I laughed (better than crying I suppose).  I could not get over how fat I have become!  Ah well, in time I will have the energy to exercise and get rid of it!  :)  So please do not mind the fat in the pictures below!!! :)

As for what I cannot wait for, I have a very long list....here are a few:

I cannot wait:

....to walk and move without pain somewhere.
....to wear shorts and short sleeved shirts.
....to wear makeup.
....to take a shower!
....to not think about my skin 90% of the time.
....to snuggle with my hubby again.
....to play with our dog.
....to have energy to do normal things in life.
....to enjoy the hot summer days!
....to enjoy going out during the winter and not have the cold wind burn my skin.
....to go to work and not have anyone remark about my skin or ask me if I am contagious.
....to not cry so often.
....to play with my kids without getting agitated or exhausted.

That is my list for today....there are so many things I cannot wait to do!  I also wanted to mention the picture that covers the top of my blog.  That is the view from where we plan to build our home in Kentucky.  It is our dream!  We have almost 70 acres there and we plan to have a small farm.  We can't move and build until I can go back to work.  So I put that picture there for myself - to remind myself that there is a really good thing waiting for me at the end of this journey.

Off to go try to organize some shelves now.  Here are a few pics of my recent spreading.

The lighting toned out the red a bit, but you can see my arms are red right up to my armpits.  Then the redness goes from the back of my neck down and from my flanks inward.  A month ago I had only the back of my neck and a few small patches on my shoulders along with a few small patches on my L flank.  

The back of my knees that have been spreading for months - initially I had a few sores right at the crease.  Now it continues to spread up and down from the crease.  It is a reddish purple color.  And then there are the sores and vesicles on my lower legs - I have more on the front of my shins, so I am getting worried about my legs going from bad to worse soon. 

My face is still very red, but no more oozing - just SUPER dry all over.