5 Months OVER and DONE With!

Today marks my 5 month anniversary of TSW.  I know for all the new ones out there, 5 months must seem like a dream to be at.  I know that is how I felt at 3 weeks and even 3 months in.  But today I just see a long road ahead of me.  That road does not come to an end anytime soon.  I consider myself a slow burner - I did not flare on 100% of my body from the beginning - I started out with about 25% of my body in a bad flare.  Now I am estimating it close to 85% or a bit more.  The only areas spared right now from TSW are my scalp and my feet.  Every other area of my body is nearly all covered in red, itching, scaly, oozing skin.  I can't even call it skin any more - some days I refer t it as hamburger meat.  Some days plastic.  I would like the reversal process to begin anytime now.  I would like my neck to stop being so painful and itchy - damn my neck!  It causes me more grief than any other part of my body!  But I used a lot of steroid creams on my neck - well actually I used steroid creams all over my body most of my life - there was not one area I think I used more on than others.  I had "eczema" everywhere. 

I have been doing well with the diet - cheating here and there, but sticking to it 90-95% of the time.  Not doing as well with the juicing or taking my vitamins the past week.  I think it's because the antibiotics make me nauseated part of the day and I just can't stomach taking more pills and the juicing just takes too much time.  I will hopefully get back on both of those things soon. 

Exercise is going well.  I didn't do any yesterday because I worked 12 hours, but for the most part I am consistent and increasing my endurance.  My heart rate is still on the higher end of normal, but my blood pressure at work yesterday was 118/73.....so much better than the 140's/80's I was at last week. 

As for work, I am given "special treatment" as they are only putting me out in triage from now on.  It helps so much!  I have a bathroom right in my area so I can run there to put bacitracin or Neosporin on the back of my knees and my neck when they are too painful to move.  I also do not sweat out there as I am mostly sitting down asking people questions.  Granted, I need my brain to work so I can make good decisions but that doesn't cause me grief or pain.  :) 

As for the depression - well that is still there - I think it will be until my skin decides to clear a bit and give me some relief.  Being on the downslope of this is very exhausting mentally and physically.  I think there is only so much one can do to keep their spirits up for so long before it comes crashing down.  So I no longer pretend all is OK anymore - it helps keep me more even across the board I think.  By being honest with everyone I am able to cope better on an everyday basis.  I cried to my Dad today - something I rarely do.  I try to keep up a good happy face most of the time with my family (except my sister who hears it all! - God bless her!).  But some days like today are just harder than others. 

The bad news is my skin is on fire - it is that time of the month soon and so I am in my PMS days - days when things get so much worse!  But the good news is once that time comes, then I get about 48 hours of a slow calming and then 3-4 days of about 50% relief from the pain and itching.  I am so looking forward to that relief!  :)

So happy 5 month anniversary to me!  Here's hoping for relief over the next coming 5 months!!  And hope all you warriors out there are having a good skin day!!!  Let's keep our chins up and keep that hope alive that some day (hopefully soon) we will have NORMAL skin!