Almost 20 weeks....

And still no sign of letting up.  The 4th of July is a day to celebrate the independence of our country.  For me it is 20 weeks of TSW.  In 2 weeks I will have completed 5 months.  I am wishing for a break soon.  I have taken my own advice and took control of this thing.  I am not letting it bring me down.  For the last 4-5 days I have been consistent with taking my bath first thing in the morning.  This allows me to forget about the dreaded bath - I no longer hem and haw over getting in.  I just get it done, no matter how painful it is.  I have noticed a huge change in my attitude and depression since doing this.  I may not feel like going out anywhere, but getting the painful bath over and done with makes me more apt to go out and get things done.  Today I ventured out to the store.  I was also going to go to the farm for our raw milk, but I was exhausted after grocery shopping, so I called it a day and will go to the farm tomorrow.  It's just over an hour away, so it takes up a good chunk of the morning just driving. 

Today I woke up with my left arm very swollen again and oozing - so much that my shirt was stuck to my arm.  Ouch!  It has been many weeks since it did this, so I guess I am making some progress!  My legs are out of control with itching and the spreading raised red rash of TSW.  My arms are itching like mad as well and very painful.  Still not taking any Tylenol or ibuprofen.  Hoping to start back up soon as it will help me get through the days and nights.  Since the ulcer and stopping the pain meds, I have been waking up every 2-3 hours to switch out my ice packs. 

I can not believe I have made it this far through TSW.  It has been one of the roughest times of my life. It has shown me that life is very precious.  I didn't necessarily take my health for granted, but I slacked in the area of health now and again.  I now want to make sure health is always one of my priorities.  Not being able to do things with my kids - not being able to snuggle with my hubby at night, not being able to visit family, and so many other things I have missed out on has made me realize how important it is to remain healthy and able bodied through life. 

At the store today I checked my blood pressure again - 137/76 with a heart rate of 86.  Not good for me.  Typically my blood pressure runs 110/60 and my heart rate about 60.  I will be starting my walking program on Saturday.  I get my treadmill on Thursday but I have to work on Friday.  So Saturday it is.  Hopefully in a few weeks I will see a decrease in my blood pressure and heart rate.  And of course my weight.  I have lost 10 pounds while on this strict diet, but I was expecting to lose much more in one month.  However given how swollen my arms, shoulders, face, and legs are, it does not surprise me that I am holding onto extra weight (all in the name of fluid!).

While I continue to get worse with the spreading of my TSW skin deterioration, I have noticed something I believe is a good thing.  The raised red areas on my wrists have always been raised enough so that I feel I could just scratch the red area right off.  However I noticed today that the red area - while still very red in color - is not raised anymore - it is just about flat with the rest of my skin.  It still feels very rough and patchy, but I no longer feel a defined ridge at the red edges.  I am hoping this means some clearing is coming up?  I can always hope!  :)

Another good thing I have noticed is a slight increase in good brain activity.  This TSW thing wreaks havoc on the brain - making it difficult to think straight, make decisions, concentrate, or process things.  I can now focus on reading for about 15-20 minutes - something I was not able to do even 5 days ago.  I also noticed noises are not as loud, and I can manage when my kids want to all talk to me at the same time.  Again - this is not a HUGE change, but it is something to celebrate given how my brain was so inept for the first 3 months of this thing. 

Well it is time to go make dinner!